After experiencing a "revelation" of sorts, I was just thinking about the events of the past few months that led me to the glorious peace I now feel. It has been one of those really busy times, where things were neglected - more specifically, my walk with God. Caught up in stress and decisions, I didn't seek my Father when I needed Him the most. But, in His ever-present faithfulness, He used people and circumstances, as well as His holy word to draw me back to Himself. But my thoughts on this Monday morning were not on God's faithfulness, though I am ever thankful for it. I was trying to determine why I had come back again, why I suddenly desired to praise Him always, to read and study His word. Why? Becasue I know it holds value, Because I've seen what happens when I don't? Because it feels good? Yes, we are to be radically and crazily obsessed with the One who conquored death, who loves us beyond description. But these things should be the things that I am transfixed upon: Who God is, what He has done, and continues to do daily in my life.
I think that, when experiencing a sort of spiritual high, it is important to reflect on why we strive to grow closer to Him. Though it is impossible to fathom at times, we need reminders of this. Of the fact that it is actually He who draws us closer, not us who achieve a feeling of peace and joy. Feelings are a result of a previous action -- in this case, God's action of calling. We need to remember that it is He who called us, and respond accordingly.
So, after realizing this (or, should I say, God showing it to me), I know that this is why I pray. This is why I seek Him. This is why I spend time with Him. I am making a feeble and weak attempt to express my overwhelming gratitude towards Him fo what He did 2000 years ago, and for what He did on Wednesday when He took hold of my heart and drew me back agian. Though my act of thankfulness could never amount to anything, He accepts it (and me) with open arms, every time, because of His abundant, consuming, and sovereign grace.