Coming up on a year
Since I walked out of one turbulent season into another
(maybe, probably, more so)
One year ago I was in Clarksville ((ready for parole))
Married, preparing to leave the Army
-- the home that turned on me --
About to move to New York and start my life with my best friend, my partner, my should-be soulmate
Also having lunch with another kindred friend
Both wrestling insanity
Seeing reflections of each other
Realizing my lover was in another universe
And my friend was cast from the very light that I was
~ sharing breath ~
And baring my heart to her, not knowing she'd soon turn on me too
How little I knew
I breathed too soon
thought I was safe
didn't know i'd be running
for eleven more months
//
Two years
I slept on an air mattress that only lasted two nights before my cat scratched it and it never stayed full
I stayed in bed all day eating pizza, homemade cookies in my first very own kitchen, and watching Brave
How fitting - I'd need every ounce of that
once the pussy-grabber shocked us all and took that stage
Devastated, talking to the man who would become my world for a salty-sweet time
Not knowing then that soon, we'd find everything we needed in each other to stay afloat
I couldn't have done it without you
And yet
Being with you made me forget everything I knew
that had brought me here
The greatest of contrasts
//
I've always been a storm
Sometimes it's the good kind
that brings refreshment and renewal
New life, and hope
and calm afterwards, peace
But sometimes I spin out
Gathering energy, more and faster
every second
losing control
These last two years have each been their own kind of storm, different conditions. Maybe this time it'll be the steady kind. Maybe I'll grow and move forward and remain.