You have searched me and known me. (Psalm 139:1)
How wonderful it is that He knows me! While I’m here, trying not only to get through today, but also remain in Him, and fight for joy, and figure out who I am as I’m about to embark on the next chapter in my book. He knows me. He knows what makes me unique and whole, better than I know myself. When I long for my closest friends to understand me, and then quickly realize that I don’t even understand myself. He already does. With one glance his eyes pierce through to the deepest and darkest corners of my heart, and illuminates them.
…But this is also terrifying. There is so much in my heart that I am ashamed of. And He sees it clearly. The discontent, the pride, the unrest. When I want absolutely nothing to do with Him. When the world calls out, and I answer. When I’m flighty and easily distracted by things that have no place in my heart.
You see the depths of my heart and you love me the same.
Not begrudgingly, because you kind of have to since you’re God and all. Not as a second thought, after you welcome all the “good” people. You love me, who I am right now. Not under the condition that I finally get my head out of my ass. You love me before I even have the chance to come and express my gratitude, or flippantly brush it off – whichever my wayward heart decides to do that day.
But that’s the point. It’s not dependent on anything. I’ve heard the story a thousand times. But recently, I’ve come to listen to it differently.
“I dare you to trust that I love you just as you are, not as you should be. (Because none of us are as we should be.)”
Once my heart truly heard those words… I can’t explain the rush of joy that flooded in. But also, the sorrow for misconstruing it in my head all this time. That love… that wild, relentless, mysterious, crazy love… it’s completely unfathomable.
“Once you come to experience the love of Jesus Christ, nothing else in the world will seem beautiful or desirable.” – The Ragamuffin Gospel
This is my desire for each of you. Experience the love of Jesus. Incidentally, we have a place where you can do just that. You don’t have to travel on some crazy journey to “find” God. Just show up… he’ll meet you where you are.
If you’re looking for a place of love and acceptance and maybe just for a big hug, come to Pioneer. If you’re looking for renewal and a refreshing glimpse at the Love which used to captivate you, this place is for you. If you don’t know what you need, but you think that this can’t really hurt, give it a shot. If you think this is sounds cool for me but honestly a little crazy, come and prove me right. Because it is crazy. Friend, I assure you… the Love of God is madness!
~L'amour de Dieu est folie~